DOG SHAMING AND PARROT SUITS

The trendy thing these days seems to be dog shaming.  As a matter of fact, I posted a series of such photos  on my very own Facebook timeline this morning.

But then, I thought about it.

Why are dogs so deserving of public shame?  Because of their collective failure to act like humans?  They are dogs.  They are acting like dogs.  They are being what they are. There should be no shame attached to that.

And why are dogs the only animal being shamed with signs hung around their necks, such as “I peed on the Pope during an audience,” or “My farts make people cry,” or maybe “I ate a case of alphabet soup and am now shitting out better speeches than any politician you'd care to name.”

You know why.

Cats would disembowel you if you ever tried that crap with them. At the very least, they have their lawyers on speed-dial and are the major filers of frivolous lawsuits in America today. Yours would be just one more in a long series.  They usually win, by the way.  Their lawyers are motivated, because feline wrath is something nobody wants to expose themselves to--even in a hazmat suit! 

And as if that isn't enough, I discovered today that there is a cat website for shaming humans.  Cats are smart about it, though.  They wait until the human is asleep, then put up sarcastic signs or dress them up  take photos of them, and post them.  And yes, cats CAN work camera phones and computers.  They also understand credit cards. Why do you think FEDEX delivered all that fish from Pike Place Market last week?

For example:

 

Or how about:

And when they can’t find a decapitated horse:

I guess the point I’m trying to make here is:  As humans, we have much more reason to be shamed than any other living creature. Also, don’t mess with cats . . . ever.